Sunday 22 January 2012

In The Middle...

Thats how it has always felt... In the Middle , foot on either side but lack of definitve intent. No Idea , Why ... Not that I stratergically place myself right in the middle of the battle , more like i wander aimlessly and all of a sudden i have 2 sides puffing , waiting to strike eachother ... Infact this blog was started because i had nothing better to do at 2 Am on a day when my sleeping schedules were screwed beyond recognition by Work or my own lack of "Being resourceful" or extreme gaming ....


Major decisions so far never were sanctioned by massive over-thought , future concerns. At times for a relatively small matter , my mind goes into Extreme Stratergy mode  , clearly it does not have a sense of place and time. So i happen to extensively use my God/Universe given brain for mere matters of less importance in the grand stage that is the livelihood... You happen to relish this not-so-common-yet-working attitude towards life and come thru... When you reach the mid 20's which ironically is the Middle stage of a man's life.....Everything dramatically slows down... you put more emphasis on preparing for the survival... In these times ,a  judgement you make on your move will later come back either as a sufficient kick to the balls or as a back massage in a stream sauna.... If you dint play the game or dint work within the education system , and yet you came out unscathed .. then you ,my friend will be marked ... Marked by the universe ... Marked for future tests ... and  the tests will come as flood blasting thru the crack in the dam... You realize that you wander aimlessly into a system where there are people with specs , sitting behind desks , observing and taking notes of your supposed potential... you still dont grasp the scenario at hand , you remain innocent , making safe moves , dotting all I's and crossing all T's... But you are not expected of that... you are expected to conjure a hat-juggling elephant out of your  ass... "Why? " you ask , The answer is contrived 





You can never meet a doctor and go "I want to relax doc , Im learning to relax ... i want to be the cutting edge of relaxation" ... But you must always analyze whether everyone around you is an asshole or not , before you go on to blame yourself.... Just because one can put forth any advice on coping stress ,does not mean he revels in stress... Being a sane human and when surrounded by assholes , we are bound to get stressed , that is the  brain's reflex reaction when subjected to asshole behavior ,..Should the brain fail to comprehend the necessary action , you must roar your way in , "Brain ... Halt , that guy is an Asshole .. Everything's cool , we handle the situation with more chill"... 


For the sake of being real , i should adhere to analysing an issue from both ends... , I cant help think of the possible snide comments from the crowd "Maybe you are the problem , maybe you are not competent enough , maybe everyone around you is just being real with you" ... Yes , from a statistical point , we are not gods to be blunder-less ... But assuming we are sane and rational human beings with a fair sense of assessment on one's own strength and weakness we can thank the skeptical , snide commenting fuckheads for the valuable contribution to understand the statistical possibility of you being wrong and politely remind them fuck themselves if they turned out to be wrong .... If they are right , then my friend , u must get back onto the path... The path where we are questioning our fate ... the path where u cant afford to have a flaw in your game ... afterall without a game , how can u get a result....


 Of course if the aforementioned Assholes and snide fuckheads who give you stress are not from your social circle and often when a set of them play a role that governs and looks upon you playing your role, that's when the game is on another level of perseverance and patience ..That's when you realize , its A whole New Game now with a new set of rules which are subjective only to your opponent  (Irony !), you are the Video Game villain waiting for the player to take control of the Game 's hero and go through stages of hell and wait patiently for the hero to triumph. Your Developer is the directly related A-hole who scripts you inside the game engine with attributes as menacing as a cat stuck on a tree.. all that goes in that pressurized cranium is... Just when you think its all over , its another game now and with another set of rules...  


Somehow its like Alex delarge bound in the chair every part of his body apart from his eyes is restricted for movement , and he has to be the forced audience for the  true horror on screen... The facepalm moment of seeing your life which is taken control by people who in the past underwent this  "pathway" in which they had ushered me into and so still smirking and relishing this ,  they reach back to their seats on high ground  ... giving out orders like a pompous king ....Making you perform according to their tunes and twisted logic... Yet you scoff at this lack of reality and sense of justice in their minds , minds which are overrun by aimless intent of hypothetical revenge from past mistreatment's ... 




Well there is my customized logical set of actions which can ease your time in this hell... when life fucks your over , your inner self gets hold of the situation only when it reaches a alarm level notification " You are Proper fucked"... a mere seconds after realization , the situation is in past tense and you are moving forward towards the puddle of stress and questions...Eventually the seconds hand wont stop clicking , and you now make use of that "Time and tide waits for no-one" proverb which was a vestigial thought in your past.... The Answer to understanding the  Bigger Picture lies in TIME.... Take each day as an entity... how so ever similar days of hell may line up , one day you will turn back and see a full year has gone ... You may have to undergo painful days of underestimations ,  judgement , lack of 3rd person belief...  A hypothetical yet nearing similar scenario of a War where you enlisted for moving forward  and you get hit right in the gut , taken as a POW , Slowly day by day tortured ,  "Why? " you ask , "Fk you , thats why" they say  ...yet never let go of your sanity ...  you escape the containment camps and reach home surviving this ordeal ,  A Survivor , Seasoned but Cautious individual....  At the next encounter , you will already be "I went thru this shit ....Been there , done that .... got anything new ?" ... No compromises when In the middle of scripting your life with what you can with utmost sense of reality and conscious judgement  , Unless you embrace the bad experiences and channel them for new and good ones , life will never be justified





You as your inner you , should always remember  "life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass , its learning to dance in the rain" .Believe me when i say " Learn to  Embrace the prospect of being an anomaly . "